Reframe to Manage Stress

Reframing is the process of consciously removing unhelpful thought patterns by introducing new facts that challenge--and change--the way you view the world.
Since these new facts literally do not fit within the frame of reference associated with the situation, a new or expanded frame is required—hence reframing.

To show how this works, let’s imagine you have a friend named Steve who routinely shows up late. Against your better judgment, you invited Steve to be your guest at a banquet and accept his offer to drive. The event is particularly important to you because your coworker is going to be honored in a surprise ceremony at the beginning of the banquet.

Looking at your watch, you realize Steve is a few minutes late. You do your best to assure yourself that you will arrive in time, but after 20 minutes pass it is looking less likely. With each passing second, you feel yourself getting more and more upset. Horrified that Steve could be so inconsiderate you think, “He only cares about himself. If he truly valued my friendship, he would know how important this is and he wouldn’t be late. I can’t believe he would be such a jerk.”

Before long, you start reliving all the other times Steve has been late or disappointed you in some way. But now, you are not just mad at Steve. You are also furious with yourself for giving him another chance.

Just then, his wife calls to let you know that Steve witnessed a serious traffic accident. Because he stopped to help, he was able to save the life of a child inside the car. Unfortunately, he is running at least 45 minutes late.

Your situation hasn’t changed. You are still late. You will probably miss the most important part of the evening. But the real question is: how are you feeling? Are you still mad at your friend?

While you may be experiencing a range of unpleasant feelings—disappointment, frustration, sadness—there is a good chance that these new facts have either alleviated some of the anger or caused you to view the situation, and your friend, in a completely different way. In this particular situation, the new facts that allowed the situation to be reframed appeared naturally as the events progressed. But you can take these same steps consciously as well.


Reframing Exercise

Whenever a situation is causing you stress or anxiety and you’d like to reframe it, use the following exercise to uncover the facts and create a more positive explanation.


CURRENT SITUATION
What are the FACTS of the current situation? List as many as you can.

INTERPRETATION
How are you interpreting these facts? What are you making them mean? What have you made these facts mean about you? How do you feel? List the emotions you are currently experiencing.

REFRAMING OPTIONS

Reframe the External Situation (Find ways to reinterpret the facts)
Does X have to mean Y? What are some alternative interpretations of the situation?

Create a Counter Example
Has X ever NOT meant Y?

Reframe the Future
What is going to happen to your mental health if you keep thinking this way? What will your life be like in one month, three months, and six months?


Taking Steps on Your Own

If you struggle with negative or pessimistic thoughts, read Learned Optimism by Martin Seligmann, PhD. This book describes a variety of interesting methods you can use to literally change the way you think.

Whether you do it on your own or work with a therapist, it is important to release the grip of negative emotions in your life. The anger, resentment, and hostility you feel about outsourcing or other less-than-optimal situations will, over time, drain your energy and weaken your spirit. This is true whether you express your anger outwardly or not. Either way, negativity will seriously hinder your ability to come across as the positive, energetic person you can be. Not coincidentally, it is your positive, enthusiastic, energized self that companies are looking to hire.